On September 28, 2024, Dr. Gladys McGarey transitioned from earth after 103 years (born November 30, 1920). I had known of her because she and her husband had pioneered holistic medicine in the United States, forming the American Holistic Medical Association in 1978 to unite body, mind, and spirit in medical treatment. I had been following her articles in Edgar Cayce’s ARE (Association for Research and Enlightenment) magazine for around 30 or so of those years.
During her last year, she wrote The Well-Lived Life: A 103-Year-Old Doctor’s Six Secrets to Health and Happiness at Every Age. For each of her secrets, she offers examples from her own life or those of her patients. One of the five children of two doctors (her mother was one of the first women to receive a DO [osteopathy] and her father was both an MD and a DO), she spent her youth in India where her parents offered health care to village people, including “untouchables,” who had never had it.
Dr. Gladys writes in her introduction of two early experiences. Someone brought a suffering elephant into the village where her mother was working, and her mother proclaimed that she was not a vet. Nothing else had helped this wounded elephant so its owner begged. Her mother found a splinter in the elephant’s hoof, talked quietly to the elephant, and it let her retrieve it. She asked Gladys to prepare a solution to put on the infection, and while she was preparing the medicine, Gladys loved the experience enough to realize that she must become a doctor. (Her kindergarten teacher thought her stupid since she couldn’t read. But her next teacher realized that she was dyslexic.) Therefore, Gladys knew she would have to work especially hard. The elephant, delighted after its treatment, swung Gladys and her sister up on its back and took them to play in the nearby river, not only that day but for many days after.
The second event occurred when the family was traveling by train from Delhi to Bombay in 1930, en route for a furlough in the US. The train slowed inexplicably, and many people were running alongside it. When the train stopped, Gladys saw a man in a dhoti carrying a staff. She realized that she was seeing the revered Gandhi. He turned, and she thinks he looked at her directly because she had never seen someone who had such unconditional love in his eyes, the kind that “recognizes and accepts everything you are.” He was leading the famous nonviolent Salt March against the exorbitant British tax on salt.
An overview of the six secrets on which she expounds reveal her astute philosophy for living.
- “You are here for a reason.”
Her “juice” was to be a doctor, and she endured hardships and hostile male attitudes while working toward her goal. She feels strongly that for one to do anything, one needs to find “juice” in the act. Without juice, a zest for living, at all stages of life, we shirk our reason for being on earth.
- “All life needs to move.”
Finding movement throughout life helps us forgive ourselves for things we have done. We need to feel our shame with humor, to overcome the silliness of it, and laugh to release the adrenals. She relates a story of trying to get her groceries into her car when she was still driving at 99. A man offered his help, and instead of accepting it, she was affronted that he didn’t think she complete the task. He said that even though he was 86, he was stronger than he looked. She quickly realized that the argument in the parking lot between two old people, 99 and 86, was ridiculous and that she could only laugh at her adolescent response.
- “Love is the most powerful medicine.”
Dr. Gladys believes that “our life force is activated by love.” We need to love ourselves and understand that even a tiny match of light will lighten the dark in a cavern. We all have difficulty receiving love because we have so often been hurt or rejected. We need to love everyone, but we don’t have to like them. We can always find something to love even if it’s that they love their kids or have an attractive hairdo. We help ourselves heal by loving ourselves and letting our life flow within us and around others.
- “You are never truly alone.”
Dr. Gladys understands that, “connecting with community amplifies our individual life force by realigning it with our collective life force.” Even though we may want to withdraw, we need to expose ourselves to others. (Those who are “germless” are weaker than those who play in the dirt.) But when you are around others, in community, you can set your boundaries by knowing yourself. “When we contribute positively to our collective life force, our individual life force benefits.” Good community comes from the power of listening. We must ask what others need rather than telling them what we think they need.
- “Everything is your teacher.”
To listen and learn, one must have discipline and commitment, neither one easy to keep. The hardest moments will be difficult. She cites hitting a curb as the impetus for her to stop driving. She didn’t want to give up that freedom, but hitting a child would be much worse. She talks about the role of dreams in learning as well as learning to stop fighting change. For her, her husband’s decision to leave her was exceedingly painful. Eventually she accepted the divorce and made it into a positive experience. She knew that she was the only one who could turn herself around; she needed to be identified as “Dr. Gladys” and not a “divorced woman.” She asks “What do I have to learn? What does this experience have to teach me? How else could I view this?”
- “Spend your energy wisely.”
To her, “life is energy.” She believes that “when we align our energy with life, we create a give-and-take, sharing relationship with Source.” We need to know what risks are worth taking and put energy toward what is moving so that we don’t get stuck. We have to decide what we want to keep and acknowledge when we need to let it go. “Love is always worth your energy. Good community is always worth your energy.”
Dr. Gladys asks herself each morning, “what are we going to learn today?” She suggests that all of us do the same.
For anecdotes and examples that will offer further clarity for Dr. Gladys’s ideas, read her book, published by Atria in 2024.